there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize