I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
