you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
