just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
