I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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