There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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