I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
