Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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