we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
