Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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