Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
