if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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