This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
