It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
