Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
