I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
