just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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