drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
