i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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