i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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