I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
so much tequila, so little girl.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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