so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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