its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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