DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
