So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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