i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
