I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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