I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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