so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
