Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
