i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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