So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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