This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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