used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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