Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
