I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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