Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
