You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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