Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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