nut hugger
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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