I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I need to sanitize my soul.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
