tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I am available for nakedness
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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