Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon