You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
21 Guys Share Their Insane Stripper Stories
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
27 Reasons Why Men Need To Moan More During Sex
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him