So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
