but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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