About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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