i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
