So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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