Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
