I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
kristin has been a bad kristin
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
