mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
