Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
