We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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