Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
