I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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