Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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