so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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