That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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