never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
